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Saturday, 20 May 2017

Friendship & mental illness

Art by unknown

I can't find the name of the artist who created this. I found it on Pinterest and it says a lot about friendship to me.

It's those friends who are there for you when you are at your lowest ebbs, they can watch you rise again.

Image result for wishcandy
Art by Wish Candy

These are the true friendships, those who are not afraid of the darkness and the light, the contradictions, the confusions and- of course- the connections.

Friendship is feminism. Feminism is about being safe to express yourself without fear or judgement. So is friendship.

Friday, 19 May 2017

BPD Mindmap

Living with BPD: video by Claudia Boleyn

This is one of my favourite videos about BPD that I've found lately. 

It's by a really insightful blogger called Claudia Boleyn. One of the reasons I like it is because Claudia communicates how difficult it can be to 'reveal' BPD, due to stigma. 

It's great because Claudia mentions how she has been spoken to by people in the medical profession and the attitudes and silencing around BPD. 

If you have ever uncomfortable speaking about BPD, or felt silenced, this video might be helpful. 

Reminder about people with BPD !

Let me say it again! Loud and clear! So many people clearly agree and need to hear this as I have had hundreds  of likes and retweets!

This is me!

People with BPD tend to be:
  • caring 
  • compassionate
  • loving 
  • passionate
  • imaginative
  • empathetic
  • giving 
  • warm-hearted 
  • accepting 
A lot of us struggle with our emotions and don't always know how to deal with the feelings until we learn new ways of coping with them. I know people with BPD are so often full of amazing qualities. Feel free to add to my list...tweet me @TalkingAboutBPD.

Drawing by me. 

A thought about exposure

#Writing from your heart will break YOU open into new parts of yourself. And others will meet you there in that gorgeous, amazing space.:

I am starting to believe that the only way I can become happy in my own skin is to shed it.

And walk out of it. And stop hiding.

Hiding does not protect me.

I do not need to feel this ashamed of myself. I have no reason to feel ashamed.

Do you have any thoughts about this? Tweet me @TalkingAboutBPD. 

Saturday, 13 May 2017

Wanting to feel safe

I've been feeling in a depressed state for around a month now, with many mental health crises during this period. It has been so destabilising and difficult and now I'm craving a feeling of safety from all of the fear.

Jellyfish Illustrations  Super cute kawaii collection of 9 jellyfish, presented as a beautiful A3 sized fine art print.  Perfect for your nautical nursery.:
art by unknown

I have experienced a lot of difficult feelings and I have been struggling to find people and situations which feel safe to express what I am going through. I mostly don't feel safe to express myself, because when I have been honest lately I have been met with unhelpful reactions.

This only serves to deepen the sense of loneliness that comes with feeling depressed.

I have a dwindling amount of people with whom I feel safe to talk about what I'm going though. Which is tricky, because talking is the thing which helps me the most.

Art by unknown

I feel very isolated with this right now. I have one or two friends with who I feel mostly safe with right now. But I actually feel so incredibly let down and even betrayed by some people in my life that loneliness can't help but set in right now.

I hope something happens and the loneliness is alleviated.

Drawing my way through a crisis

I've been in a 'state' for about a month. I've been in and out of crisis many times within this period. I've been feeling very depressed and it has been frightening.

Recently, I've been trying to draw my way through some of the experiences and emotions. I thought I would share three of them here.

Drawing by me

Drawing by me

Drawing by me

Drawing helps me bear it and to begin to find my way through it. It is such a lonely place and I find drawing takes the edge off that- almost like I am having a conversation with myself.

I have more drawings here too.

Do I have bipolar?

So, I'm going through a few personal conflicts and questions at the moment. Do I have bipolar? is a question I've been asking and wondering on and off for about ten years now.

Very confusing. Although I relate to BPD and some of the symptoms undeniably resonate with me, I also feel that there may be something going on in terms of longer ranging moods. Very complicated.

This is actually a really good writing prompt. Something that should kill you instead transports you to another world.:
Art by Society 6

I have accessed mental health services for the first time in a few years. I have been offered a medication that is sometimes used for  bipolar too. I'm having a 'long appointment' with the psychiatrist in a couple of weeks. I hoping for some sort of clarity...trying not to get my hopes up just in case I end up feeling even more confused.

I am taking a lot of time to prepare for my appointment- looking for patterns of mood, thinking back to patterns over my life. It's a very confusing time. I hope I am getting closer to clarity than ever before.

I have lots more posts about bipolar. Please tweet me @TalkingAboutBPD if you have any comments or stories.

Recommendation: Doll Hospital Journal

I am a huge fan of Doll Hospital, an art and literature print journal on mental health. In fact, this isn't the first time I've expressed my love for it!

Image result for doll hospital journal

The editor-in-chief is the inspirational Bethany Rose Lamont and their ethos is: 'we take an intersectional focus and stand unapologetically in our trauma'. You can download and buy print copies of issues on their website. Their tumblr is pretty interesting too with regards to mental health and so much more.

Image result for doll hospital journal

I feel so much better about myself and my situation through this journal...not to mention inspired!